Thursday, May 21, 2015

gweenkent turns 21!

Here is to a person who has just turned a year older! *toasting wine glasses* Oh yeah!! And yes, I am certain enough that I am now legal everywhere. Vegas I am coming! lol.

What is a birthday anyway if there is no party, right? It wasn't a big big party. It was something much more than that - the sharing of happiness and togetherness with people that I care most. And those people that I cherish are my best birthday presents! I love them.

With the "secret group" at Ye's Buffet, Winnipeg
With friends of ISGWPG at home
With ahjumma :p
Jessica Justine, Jessica and Linda! If you remember, I was still keeping and wearing your awesome present :) It's a forever precious treasure to me.

It isn't easy living alone abroad. True, I had always wanted to leave my hometown and live on my own. But everything just changed when I was about to leave a place I have been staying for 18 years, I felt so pressured, my heart just felt so heavy that day! I won't deny that I was very desperate and stressed that time. But I was able to cope with those kinds of feelings. How? Friends of course!

When you realize your family and best friends aren't there for you, there are always those people whom you can talk to when you feel down, those whom you can play with, smile and share laughter and love with and those who never leave you alone. Those people are your new family. Yes, those people whom you are comfortable to be around with, these friendships are ones you must treasure! And yes, these awesome guys are those people, they are what I call: my treasures.

Thank you so very much guys for making my "new year" awesome! You guys are incredible! Love you all tons.


Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Bound and the wound

I have moved! A place which I have identified as my "third" home I left two weeks ago. Having been staying there for a year (and more days), I was (and still am) very heartbroken to have left the house with so many memories instilled in it. Yes, I miss everything but what I am missing most is my sweetheart noona. I have been missing her. So much that it pains my heart to realize that she is no longer beside me cheering this lazy cow up. I am bound. Bound to her.

I do not understand. I really do not understand! Why am I so bound to her? I have always thought of her as my close friend, nothing more nothing less. But it was only until two weeks before I left her that I, I mean my heart, suddenly felt so defective. Think of my heart as a puzzle. It felt like a big piece of the puzzle is missing, making the puzzle itself incomplete.

What is with me? As I am writing, I feel like a part of my soul is missing. Yes, I miss her. So much that it pains my heart. What is with me, really? I want her to stay by my side. That's all! I just want to see her smile every day. That's all! I just want to hear her voice every night. That's all! Am I too greedy a person to want these all?

I don't understand. And I do not want to understand! What's with me? Why do I keep wishing things? If only, we could be more than just best friends. If only, we were not so many ages apart. If only, age never mattered to people. I wish and keep wishing. But wishing things that I can never have, that is also greed, is it not? Am I a guy too greedy?

I am bound to her, and this is a wound to my heart. I am confused. mentally. I am injured. psychologically. I have been so hard on myself this week, today especially. My mind keeps thinking about her. I am just afraid. To lose a person I care most. Because one time is more than enough.

This all sounds so very absurd but I am bound to her, and this is so much a wound to my heart.